Every Journey Begins With a Single Step....

The past few weeks have been nothing but chaos and stress for me... then again, when isn't it? I get myself in these situations when I try to help others and I feel like I get taken advantage of.  All this stress threw off my eating and I binged. Damn emotional eating. And I barely worked out. I am not gonna try to make excuses for why I didn't do better, I just have to learn how to handle stress in my life better. What I have been doing has been hurting me instead of helping me.  The crazy part is I can stop this particular cause of stress and hadn't done anything to stop. Mainly because every time I did, it seemed to only cause more problems. But I can't and won't do it anymore. 

With that problem behind me, I am back to focusing on ME! My mind, my body, my spirit, and my child. 

I had to work until 6pm yesterday and had a rough night Sunday. Bug didn't sleep very well, so neither did I. But as soon as we got home, I made her some dinner and I almost didn't work out. I was tired and honestly not in the mood. But then I had a realization. The only reason I am still so miserable and unhappy with the way I look is because there have been so many times I haven't been "in the mood" to work out. So instead of letting the old J'Wana make the decision to not work out, the NEW J'Wana stepped forward and took control!! I can't let my old mentality keep me from getting healthy, fit, and happy.

IT WAS TIME TO SWEAT!

Brazil Butt Lift's Bum Bum and Turbo Jam 20 Min and I was pouring sweat! The FAT was definitely crying a river last night! I love TJ because of the music and its fun to do. Chalene is so upbeat and motivating! I just love it! Dare I say, my soulmate workout<3

BBL on the other hand, KICKS MY BUM BUM!!! Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing workout! But there is definitely a Love/Hate relationship. My legs and booty are so sore! I am very happy I only had to give a 30 min massage today. Lol! 

I am gonna eat some lunch now and take a nap! Gonna get my sweat on later! 

What are you having for Lunch?

Uhh...I ripped my pants! Time for some BRAZIL BUTT LIFT

So today started like any other day... I worked out early and went to work (I work at a Chiropractors Office) at 8 am. As I sat down in my chair, and because I apparently can't sit down like a normal person, I put my right leg (well ankle/foot) under my butt. BIG MISTAKE. As soon as I got all the way down in the chair,

 RIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP!!!! 

I RIPPED MY FREAKIN PANTS!!!

I was absolutely MORTIFIED! I joked around with my co-workers about it and laughed hard about it. But deep inside, it wasn't a joke. This was/is serious. I mean it wasn't anywhere that was super noticeable, unless someone was just hanging out between my legs LOL. I tried to hide it the best I could for the rest of the day. I went to do a massage and while I was just sitting on my stool massaging my clients neck and shoulders, I happened to try to roll to the right a little and it ripped more. UGH!

 When I got home, I couldn't get this off of my mind. I thought back to before I had my daughter, when I was smaller, and someone told me I had "elephant legs". It didn't bother me then. I was/am known for my ghetto booty, the junk in my trunk, so I always just felt like I had legs to match the butt..I felt like I had to have the foundation to hold it all. They were big, but not huge. But I have had a child and gained quite a bit of weight and with my scrub pants ripping at work, it all hit me at once.  I mean I have already started my weight loss journey and promised myself that this was it and I was going to get healthy and fit, but now, ITS ON!!

I know I am going to work harder for this than I ever have.

I am going to do AND complete Brazil Butt Lift. 

I've been doing it here and there, but now its really gonna get some attention from me!

My legs and butt were always something I wanted to improve on, what better way to do that than by a workout where those areas are the main focus, while still getting full body results!

So tonight here I am, with a before pic and I want you to hold me accountable. 

In about 2 weeks, Ill post a progress pic. In 2 more weeks, Ill post another. I will probably do it for 8 weeks, even though it is just a 4 week program. I want to keep changing my booty and body, and still be known for this badonk-a-donk of mine, but it be 1000 times better:)

BTW-It kills me to put this pic out for the world to see but you won't be seeing this for long!!

Have you ever ripped your pants in public?! If it's a funny story, I want to hear it LOL

If this has never happened to you, BOOOOOOOOOOOOO !! :P

First Workout of 2013!!

Well, I guess the Mayans and the movie "2012" were wrong! Here we are, New Years Day 2013!! I am so excited to start this New Year with a NEW ME!!! I am done with making excuses for myself and why I haven't lost this weight or reached any of my goals in life. I am claiming 2013 to be MY YEAR!! So I planned to start it off right. Didn't know I would be sick.

Even though I still feel terrible, I wasn't gonna let this day pass without getting a workout in.

I managed to get in Brazil Butt Lift-Cardio Axe and half of Bum Bum... before I started getting sick again. :( I hope whatever this is that I have is gone by tomorrow. I have to go back to work.. but not if I am still feeling like this.

Felt so good to sweat and I definitely feel the burn! I felt fat burning off of me.... I heard it whimpering. lol. 

Anyways, this post will be short and sweet. Not feeling so good again. Looking like it will be a liquid diet for me today. Gonna try some chicken broth from myself, and make some grilled chicken and sweet potato fries for little Miss Picky Eater! Sometimes I wonder how she became so picky. She used to eat just about everything. Now I am lucky if I can get her to eat what I cook. She wants noodles, macaroni and cheese, and cereal. That's about it. I guess that's toddlers for you! I think one of my next posts will be about 

kid friendly, healthy meals. 

Toodles!

-J

SICK!!... On New Years Eve?!

Are you FREAKIN SERIOUS?!!!! I got to work this morning and started feeling sick. Light-headed, hot/cold chills, nauseous. Absolutely miserable! If that's not bad enough, it is NEW YEARS EVE!! I definitely didn't want to bring in 2013 like this!  Wrapped up in a blanket, curled up in the bed, trash can near by. Now I didn't have any plans set in stone tonight because I didn't have a babysitter set up. I wanted to just go hang out... didn't plan on drinking... much...well maybe I did.  Lol. Maybe this is telling me I didn't need to go out tonight.  I don't do too much hanging out anymore so it would have been nice! Hey, I'm 22 years old, I still like to act my age every now and then. I can still say that I am way more mature and responsible that some people my age and older. But Ill have just as much fun bringing in the New Year with my little one!

I am thankful for my little doctor! When we got home, she came and got in the bed with me and asked what was wrong. I told her that Mommy is sick. She told me she would be right back. I hear her run off to her room then return with this...

She said, "Mommy, I'm gonna give you a check up!" and my heart just melted.

She started off by checking my temperature to see if I had a fever....

*pay no mind to the scarf on my head lol* leave me alone I don't feel good lol*

 Followed by listening to my heart....

Checking my blood pressure...

I guess its a pretty serious diagnosis, I have to get a shot:(

But I got a very cute bandage!

I asked my little doctor what was wrong with me and she said " I don't know." *gives me a kiss* and says "It's ok Mommy, you will feel better!"and pats my back! She can be the sweetest person...earlier she was in a bad mood so this was a welcome mood change!
I have to admit I sure will miss these days when she goes back to daycare and then goes to preschool.

I have been trying to think about what is the best workout for me today......... but with the way I am feeling, I don't think one will happen today. I do want to focus on my core tomorrow. My abs are so weak! I may post some healthy tips to get rid of belly fat -exercises and foods that burn fat.

But before I go, I have seen so many vlogs, blogs, facebook pages and tweets about New Year's Resolutions. I never do too well with them. I say I want to do something and maybe do good for the first few weeks but after that... HA! Its over as quickly as it started. But I am not making resolutions this year. I am setting goals for myself. I am gonna write them all out and start completing them! I'm so sick of the excuses I have come up with over the years! I am going to figure out how to stay motivated enough to follow through. I will continue to expand my education in health and fitness. I will make healthy menus for me and my daughter.

There is so much I want to accomplish and 2013 is my year to do it! My year to SHINE! A year for SUCCESS!

I'm gone for now. I am gonna try to get some rest and start feeling better!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! BE SAFE, DONT DRINK AND DRIVE.

How do you nurse yourself on sick days? Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve?

December & Forming A Healthy Lifestyle

So...Last night I had a horrible time falling asleep...I tried but I tossed and turned. Something was on my mind. Too many negative thoughts. My self esteem and self image kinda sucks. But its a work in progress. So I know I have to give this 10000000%. I am taking the month of December to PUSH MYSELF. I WILL make a routine of working out and eating right. With no excuses. I WILL change my mindset and my lifestyle.

For far too long, I have looked in the mirror and been disgusted with who I saw looking back at me. I don't like the thoughts that float through my mind. I hate going out with my friends. A voice always runs its mouth in the back of my mind as I get dressed. 

"You look disgusting."

"I don't even know why you try to get dressed up and look cute." 

"That big saggy belly is NOT ATTRACTIVE and its not like you can hide it!"

"Everyone thinks your friends look good. But you are just the fat girl that tags along." 

"You might as well stay home. Nothing looks good on you." 


I usually end up crying at least once or twice.  I try to tune it out, but I fail every time.  My mind just won't allow it. And I am so so sick of this. Knowing what I have to do, I tell myself today is the day that I make this healthy lifestyle a habit. Today is the day that I stop making excuses. Unfortunately, I haven't made it a habit yet and that is because I am an impatient person. I want results and I want them now. Not the best way to be but hey, its me.
 I wish I could drop all the weight and get fit like yesterday. But I also know it takes time. It took time to go on, and it will take time to work off. But with the way that I have been living, it will never come off. I will do great for a few days or even a week. Then I fall off track and I get depressed. It repeats over and over again. Food is my main problem. I'll be real with you, whoever is reading this. I am gonna be completely honest. Maybe you are like me, in the same boat. I work full time, I have a two year old, and I am a single parent with no help whatsoever from my daughter's father. I just got my own place a month ago and still trying to figure out a budget and figure out life on my own. I get about $100 in food stamps. I am trying to figure out how to balance everything out from rent/utilities, phone, internet, child care, and hopefully soon I will have a car so then insurance and gas. I know everything will work itself out. But right now, my finances are a definite problem. The things that are best to eat, are more expensive than the processed junk that is super cheap. So what do you do? People say that you need to make an investment in yourself and in your health. And I completely agree. But what do you do when you LITERALLY don't have the money? I go to a couple food pantries in my area for some extra help, but its not like you can hand pick what you get there. I get what they give me and I definitely am not gonna complain. I just try to make the best choices I can and do what I can.

But during my tossing and turning last night, I made a decision. And I know its not gonna be easy. I will take the month of December to seriously focus on my health and fitness. A pre-challenge you could say. Apparently, it take 21 days to form a habit. I am gonna to take 31 days. 31 days to prep for my New Years Resolution. I will reach my fitness goals by my 23rd Birthday. (which is November 8th)  70 lbs. 31 days to change my mindset, my way of thinking and the way I see myself.

December will be the month I make to-do lists and schedule my day out to make the most of it.  I became a Beachbody Coach because I wanted to help others reach their goals and have the body they have always wanted. Reach the level of health they want. Live the life they want.  But how can I do it if I am not moving forward with it myself? 

2013 will be MY year. Nothing will hold me back this time. But I am (re)starting now... I want to be happy with myself, with my body and my life and I want my daughter to be proud of me too. I can not and will not let her down. 

It took everything in me to decide to post this picture. As you see, I am not smiling. I am very unhappy with this picture. Its not pretty but its me Only one way to fix that though. I have goofed off and wasted too much time. I could have been where I want to be by now. I started this journey back in March or April.  I know I can do this, but up until now, I've waited for the right conditions. "I have to have my own place so I can control the food coming in and I can workout without having to worry about a bunch of people interrupting or intruding."

Well the conditions (technically) are perfect. All of my previous excuses are not valid anymore. Not excuse will be valid. 

THIS IS IT!!! GONNA GET MY TURBO ON NOW! POST WORKOUT SWEAT PIC COMING UP!!

Turbo Jam-Learn and Burn & Turbo Sculpt

And I had a partner:)

Arianna did some Turbo Sculpting too! I love her!

So... Let's Talk About Sports and Exercise Massage.

In case you didn't guess from the title of this blog, I am a Licensed Massage Therapist. I specialized in Sports and Exercise Massage. When I chose that specialization, to be honest, I was thinking about all the lovely buff athletes I could massage. *shrugs* I mean, that wasn't the only thing I was thinking about but it was definitely a benefit of it. But then I realized that I wanted to go more into the health and fitness aspect of it. I am on a fitness journey so with me adding exercise to my lifestyle, this would be perfect. So when I made this blog, along with fitness and nutrition tips and stuff about me and my Ari-Bug, I wanted to incorporate my Massage Therapy/Sports and Exercise Massage specialization. 

Sports and exercise masssage has physical and psychological benefits. Massage can prevent injuries and also help relieve pain and help heal injuries. It can relieve muscle soreness that is associated with athletic competition and exercise. Anxiety before or after an event can also be reduced! I mean massages are pretty freaking relaxing!

As far as injury prevention is concerned, massage can stretch your muscles along the fibers of your muscles and also cross-fiber, which releases tension. It can break down scar tissue as well. Scar tissue can cause inflexible tissues and then you are more likely to become injured. By lossening up these hypertonic or tight mucsles, you can increase blood flow to the area and then the blood with be better absorbed and used.

Ok, so think back to your last intense workout. You absolutely KILLED that workout! At first, you feel pretty good, but after a day or two, you can barely think about moving without being sore. This is Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness, or DOMS. During your killer workout, muscle tension built up in your soft tissues, along with small muscle tears and maybe some minor injuries. That's what is making you so sore. Well guess what, massage can reduce DOMS by about 30% by increasing circulation and blood flow to the areas affects. And if its possible for you to receive a massage after your workout or athletic event, you will reduce the overall effects of DOMS. WINNING!

Now for what everyone pretty much knows about massage. ITS VERY RELAXING AND SOOTHING. It releases endorphins that help relieve pain and soreness. Massage stimulates the mechanoreceptors that can sense touch, warmth and pressure. This results in even deeper relaxation and reduced anxiety. Now if you are about to participate in a sport, competition or exercise, the slow relaxing massage may not be the best way to go. You can pump yourself up and invigorate your muscles by receiving a pre-event massage, which is done with faster, shorter motions.

I've been privileged with the opportunity to do post-event massage at the Marine Corps Marathon 2011. I met many people from all over the country. For some, it was their first marathon. For some, it was one of many. One person had a tattoo of a four leaf clover, with 26.2 below it. 

The purpose of a massage after a major event is to aid the athlete to recover from the activity. This is achieved by reducing post-exercise soreness, re-establishing full range of motion and enhancing blood flow to tight muscles. 

The length of recovery time from strenuous competition can be dramatically reduced with a good post-event massage. Studies have found that correctly applied massage in the first two hours after activity can be critical for reducing the effect of delayed onset muscle soreness.

I have read a little about foam rollers and based on what I have heard from those that do use them, they are great. Especially if you don't have a massage therapist, or if it is just not gonna work with your schedule to make an appointment with one. Apparently pressure is placed on specific surfaces of the body. Use the roller to apply pressure to sensitive areas in muscles-which could be a knot, trigger point, or just an area of increased muscle density.  You are supposed to use the roller to search for these tender areas and to roll these areas to decrease density and over-activity of the muscle. You may find these places easily, and you may need to re-position the roller (parallel, perpendicular, or at a 45 degree angle. It just depends on the muscle. In time, you will master working out the knots with it, but it never hurts to just go ahead and book a massage. My hands can probably find and work knots and trigger points out  better than the foam roller. But the foam roller could definitely be used in between visits or before or after every massage.  Your choice.

Anyways, I need to get some house work and a work out done while my little one is asleep.

Do you receive massages regularly? Do you use a foam roller? What are your opinions of either or both? Someone please tell me more about this foam rolling! 

Have a great day!

About Me

Hello There!!! My name is J'Wana and I am a single parent to an amazing little girl named Arianna, as well as a full-time Massage Therapist. Here is a little about myself.

My childhood was a lot different than most people. I am from Washington, DC. but I moved around A LOT!!. D.C., Maryland, Northern VA, Southern VA, Texas... I was all over the place. And no, I wasn't a military brat. Just had a tough life.  For as long as I can remember, I have been the chubby girl. I was always told it was baby fat and that it would go away once I got older. I remember during 7th and 8th grade, I was in pretty good shape. ( I was also walking and riding my bike to school and back which was 3 miles round-trip) But when 9th grade hit, that's when things really started to change. I was living in Southwest Virginia, small southern town of Marion, Va. Some of the food was different but OH SO GOOD!!! I didn't realize how the food and less activity would change my body, I really wasn't too concerned with it to be honest with you. I was a cheerleader in 10th grade and over the summer when we got our uniforms and had to try them on.... well I had the biggest size they had and it just barely fit me. But I also knew I had a big booty, even when I was smaller everywhere else. Nothing I was ashamed of but I still hated (not really hated but you get my point) all the skinny girls that didn't have any problem with their uniforms. But I figured that by the time we were done cheer leading for the year, I would have lost all the weight. WRONG! I had to get a job. My first job- WENDYS. As much as I loved (and still love) food, the last thing I thought about then was my health or fitness. So I worked hard and ate good and gained weight. As a matter of fact, all of my jobs while in high school were in the fast food industry, so its what I ate most of the time. I didn't realize what an impact this was making in my mind and body.

Jump ahead to after I graduated (2008-2009), I moved in with my two of my friends. We all worked at McDonalds. I don't need to explain further. Then I find out I am pregnant...


I had a cute little bump for a while. I was eating for me and baby. And while I ate plenty of healthy foods, ice cream and Chinese food were constants in my life. Next thing I know..


And I still had a good 6 weeks to go when this picture was taken. But where I wasn't gaining much weight everywhere else, I figured things would more or less snap back into place once I had my precious baby girl.



I breastfed and a lot of the weight came off. But her father went to jail when she was 13 days old. So I was a 19 year old new and single parent and then Postpartum Depression hit. Food was what made me feel better so I ate and ate and ate to ease the pain away. I ate until he got out of jail, then I ate more. The man I waited for, visited every weekend so he could watch his little girl grow even though it was only 15 min visits, he turned on me. He began sneaking around, stealing, and treating me like a dog. I got called every name in the book. So I ate more. When I finally worked up the courage to leave, he took my daughter and blockaded himself in the basement. I tried to get the door open and he said "You better stop before your FAT ASS breaks this door"....That broke me down to nothing. After a couple days of arguing, I finally got me and Arianna out of that house and away from him. But mentally and emotionally, every name he called me still stuck. He wasn't done with me yet and I wasn't done with my emotional eating. I was stressed out to the max trying to figure out what to do next. One day, I stepped on the scale and had to blink multiple time to make sure I was actually seeing the numbers I saw: 200lbs!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! HOW?!! WHY?!!! 
My inner "Debbie Downer" was saying he was right, you are a fat ass and you have no importance in this world.

But I did mean something to someone, if no one else----ARIANNA!

So we moved to Washington DC and I enrolled at the National Massage Therapy Institute in Falls Church, VA. l! It was amazing but I still had to work so I got a job with my mom at IHOP.... Uh-Oh! The smells of pancakes, bacon, ham, potatoes. Who could resist? I sure couldn't and didn't. Work during the weekdays, school on weeknights, and then work during the overnight shift on the weekends. Those overnight shift were the worst. Whenever we were slow, I got one of the cooks to make me some NY cheesecake pancakes or some hashbrowns with cheese or some other ridiculously fattening thing that I wanted that night. Not good at all. And it all caught up to me!

Arianna and I both had check-ups with our doctor. They did a full physical on me since it had been a while since I had one. Blood work and all. About a week later, I get a letter from the doctors office, they wanted me to have a follow up appointment because my blood test came back abnormal. In bold letters I read PRE-DIABETIC.  What!! Diabetes runs in my family but ME, 20 years old... oh no not me I don't want diabetes. Something has to be done!...right?

But the truth is, I didn't know what to do and I was terrified. I knew what I needed to do and where I wanted to be but how do I get there?


I started getting stressed out again. Then one night I was up late, couldn't sleep and I was flipping through channels and I came across a Brazil Butt Lift commercial through Beachbody... those girls looked amazing. It looked like fun and thus something I would actually do so I ordered it. I thought "This is it, I am finally gonna get back in shape and be beautiful like the girls on the commercial"....
I have never been one with a great self-esteem. So when I got my BBL in the mail, I was so happy. I wanted to change the way I ate, change my life. I tore open the box and popped it in the DVD player. I didn't realized how tough it would actually be for me. But Leandro's energy and quite frankly, his accent (which I love haha) kept me going and boy was I sore!

I told my mom that with my pre-diabetic status, I needed her to buy better and healthier food. She made the joke that just because I have to eat healthy, she didn't have to, which actually hurt my feelings. It would be good for her, me and Arianna. She would buy me salad, and then everything else she always bought so not much changed except for a bag of salad mix. I remember one day I went and bought a juicer and took it upon myself to do some grocery shopping. I got ground chicken and turkey instead of pork and beef. I got loads of veggies and fruit, granola, greek yogurt. I mean I think I did good. As she watched me put the food away, she commented "I hope you plan on eating all that because it sure doesn't look appetizing". I went to cook dinner (which may or may not have been spaghetti) with the ground chicken and she looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said. " You're gonna use that?!"... How could I eat right if every time I make a good decision, she had a comment that made me want to just say screw it? The only thing that kept me from giving up completely were the people on the Team Beachbody website. One thing I wanted out of the website was a friend and coach that had been in the same boat as me as far as the amount of weight that I needed to lose and the struggles I've had. One of my buddies Janet told me she had an amazing coach named Rachel that had went from 301 to around 130 IN A YEAR!! She sent me a link to Rachel's profile. I sent her a buddy request and we started to talk. We have some much in common and her wise and caring words stuck with me. I needed her as my coach. And I made her my coach. This was the beginning... Little did I know, unexpected depression and excuses were heading my way.


D.C. wasn't what I expected, I wasn't happy there. I really started to miss Marion, VA. Yeah, it's a small town with not a lot to do, but it is a good place to raise kids, not too much crime, and its the place I lived the longest that I can remember of my whole life. I wanted to go back. I ended up stopping BBL and ordered Turbo Jam. When I got it, once again I tore open the box and put it in the DVD player. In comes Chalene, smiley, blond, perky Chalene. I didn't know what to expect from this woman but I ended up loving her. She is so motivational during her workouts, reminding you that all the motivation, all the energy is in your head. You can keep going! You can push harder! I enjoyed TJ a lot, but still ended up giving up on that as well, but Rachel continued to check in on me even after my posts to the challenge group and TBB website had stopped. I feel like anyone else would have just given upon me, figured I was just a waste of time. But she didn't and I am forever thankful for that. Through my talks with Rachel, I realized that I couldn't keep giving excuses for me not taking the step forward, pushing play and eating right. This is in my hands. My body, my health, my life is in my hands. I want to be around for my beautiful little girl for a very long time, but if I don't take care of myself now, that won't happen. I also realized that I wanted to become a Team Beachbody coach. If I could do for someone else what Rachel did for me, it would make me feel so good. I want to help people with their health & fitness. As a Massage Therapist, I am love to help people with their pain and make them just feel better in general and I am supposed to tell my clients know how important it is for them to exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water. I want to be a model of that, not the one saying "Do as I say, not as I do." SO I MADE A DECISION...

Despite what anybody else may have wanted me to do, I moved back to Marion, I am working as a Massage Therapist, just became a Team Beachbody coach and restarting my Turbo Jam & Brazil Butt Lift. I will eat right, exercise at least 5 days a week and drink plenty of water.

No. I don't have the results that everyone wants to see. I am at the beginning of my journey as many people are. I now have all of Beachbody watching and waiting. Watching, Waiting and thus Motivating me to transform my body and mind into the person, the mother, the role-model for my daughter that I want to be.

My goal as a coach is to change another's life while molding, changing and sculpting my own. If I can just reach one person, then that's great! But if I can reach many.... WOW! That would be a blessing!
Watch me during my journey or join me with a journey of your own. 

Just don't give up, don't let anyone hold you back or tear you down. Know that this life is yours. This body is yours. If you are unhappy with any of it, change it.