Monday, December 31, 2012

SICK!!... On New Years Eve?!

Are you FREAKIN SERIOUS?!!!! I got to work this morning and started feeling sick. Light-headed, hot/cold chills, nauseous. Absolutely miserable! If that's not bad enough, it is NEW YEARS EVE!! I definitely didn't want to bring in 2013 like this!  Wrapped up in a blanket, curled up in the bed, trash can near by. Now I didn't have any plans set in stone tonight because I didn't have a babysitter set up. I wanted to just go hang out... didn't plan on drinking... much...well maybe I did.  Lol. Maybe this is telling me I didn't need to go out tonight.  I don't do too much hanging out anymore so it would have been nice! Hey, I'm 22 years old, I still like to act my age every now and then. I can still say that I am way more mature and responsible that some people my age and older. But Ill have just as much fun bringing in the New Year with my little one!

I am thankful for my little doctor! When we got home, she came and got in the bed with me and asked what was wrong. I told her that Mommy is sick. She told me she would be right back. I hear her run off to her room then return with this...

She said, "Mommy, I'm gonna give you a check up!" and my heart just melted.

She started off by checking my temperature to see if I had a fever....

*pay no mind to the scarf on my head lol* leave me alone I don't feel good lol*

 Followed by listening to my heart....

Checking my blood pressure...

I guess its a pretty serious diagnosis, I have to get a shot:(
But I got a very cute bandage!

I asked my little doctor what was wrong with me and she said " I don't know." *gives me a kiss* and says "It's ok Mommy, you will feel better!"and pats my back! She can be the sweetest person...earlier she was in a bad mood so this was a welcome mood change!
I have to admit I sure will miss these days when she goes back to daycare and then goes to preschool.

I have been trying to think about what is the best workout for me today......... but with the way I am feeling, I don't think one will happen today. I do want to focus on my core tomorrow. My abs are so weak! I may post some healthy tips to get rid of belly fat -exercises and foods that burn fat.

But before I go, I have seen so many vlogs, blogs, facebook pages and tweets about New Year's Resolutions. I never do too well with them. I say I want to do something and maybe do good for the first few weeks but after that... HA! Its over as quickly as it started. But I am not making resolutions this year. I am setting goals for myself. I am gonna write them all out and start completing them! I'm so sick of the excuses I have come up with over the years! I am going to figure out how to stay motivated enough to follow through. I will continue to expand my education in health and fitness. I will make healthy menus for me and my daughter.

There is so much I want to accomplish and 2013 is my year to do it! My year to SHINE! A year for SUCCESS!

I'm gone for now. I am gonna try to get some rest and start feeling better!


How do you nurse yourself on sick days? Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve?

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Christmas and all its CREEPY/NOISY TOYS!!!

Just when I thought that Christmas was over, it wasn't! My co-worker came by with some presents for me and Miss Arianna. She brought a baby doll, some Dora the Explorer nail polish, clothes, and a little vanity table with a mirror. Arianna loves it all! I loved that there wasn't anything that made sounds! Most of the toys  Arianna got for Christmas make noise. She got the Fantastic Gymnastics Dora doll, Doc McStuffins Doctor bag with a stethoscope that lights up and makes noise, along with some other things.

But nothing creepier than this one little doll...

Not the one on her lap with the pacifier in its mouth...its the one on the right (her left), the one being neglected. Its a motion-sensing doll that laughs anytime you move it, move around it or even apparently when nothing else is in the room with it. I swear I turned this thing off last night before my little Ari-Bug went to bed. She was already asleep when I laid her down so I know she didn't turn it back on. Yet when I went to my room to go to sleep, I hear it laughing. And then laugh more. So I went in her room and it was turned on so I turned it back off. This morning, Arianna turned it back on when she woke up. But when we went downstairs for me to cook breakfast, I heard it laughing again! I swear I don't like this doll! I tried to get her auntie to keep it at her house for when Arianna is there. She didn't want there of course.... I wonder why! Is it just me or do other people LOVE to buy your kids toys that make all sorts of noise and sounds that they know will drive us crazy and/or creep us out? My sister even asked me if I bought batteries. And I definitely did NOT! As much as I would love to take the batteries out of this creepy doll, I couldn't do it to her!

Anyways, Arianna told me earlier that she had to go to work. She has got her bag with some money in it, and both the babies. I guess I am babysitting? Is this what is in my future? Will I be a grandma to twin little girls?  (OMG ITS LAUGHING AGAIN!!!)

She handed me the babies and got on her Dora bike and told me she loved me and would see me later. With her bag on her arm, she rode off.  Until I told her it was time to eat! 

Grilled Salmon with broccoli, carrots, sugar snap peas and water chestnuts. Little miss had chicken because she isn't a big fan of salmon. It's something she has to be in the mood for I guess.  Anyway, dinner was amazing and delicious and healthy. The salmon was on sale and I couldn't pass that deal up! Veggies were just steamed. I've got chicken in the oven for the rest of the week. I can throw some in a container tomorrow with some spinach, carrots and broccoli for lunch tomorrow! WINNING! Cook some brown rice and more veggies and it can be dinner tomorrow night! Bam! 

Anyways, off to get little one ready for bed and do some BBL! 

Did your kids get any toys that creep you out or just drive you crazy?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Healthy Eating on a Budget! Why is it so freakin' EXPENSIVE?!

I have struggled with my diet for a long time now. I can definitely say that when I first became interested in changing my eating habits, the prices of healthy foods disappointed me. All I could think was "It's so important to be eating healthy foods but how in the world can I if everything is so freakin expensive? There is NO WAY I could afford it!" I am pre-diabetic at 22 years old. I HAVE TO change the way I eat but with my budget, I just couldn't see how I was going to keep food in the house for me and my 2 year old (who is very picky), while still buying the healthiest food I could. Not to mention, try to keep my head above water with all my bills.


I know you have been in the grocery store and looked at organic and all natural foods and wondered why it costs so much to eat the foods that we are "supposed to" eat. There are plenty of reasons to eat organic food... good, better yet, GREAT reasons to do it but for some of us that just can't afford it. I really thought that I had to eat organic, all natural food to be healthy and it made me want to give up. While it is better to eat organic foods, it is not 100% necessary to do so. Some fruits and vegetables are safe to eat even if they're conventionally grown. Let me tell you this was a relief to me!   I had to do a bit of researching but it was really quite simple. Here are steps that I am taking to eat healthy on a tight budget.

  • I thought that I had to buy FRESH fruits and vegetables. But guess what? Frozen is good too!! In some cases, they are more nutritious than fresh. Just depends on what's in season in your area, how long after it was picked before frozen and how it was frozen. But either way, frozen fruits and veggies are great and can be cheaper than fresh.
  • Don't be afraid to go for the generic or store-brand items. They (a lot of the time) taste the same and sometimes better. You should still check the product labels for specific differences in the brands but for the most part, you can save plenty of money by going with generic healthy foods without splurging on the name brand stuff. It's not really necessary.

  • If you are a meat eater, I seriously recommend checking out the meat section and look for meats that have been marked down because they are getting closer to their "Use By" date. Especially if you plan on using them quickly, or if you buy it in bulk (example being...I found a family pack of chicken breasts kinda like whats below. I am a single parent... just me and my 2 year old so that lasts a little while.

Be on the look out for coupons and check your grocery store's sales papers. You can find some really awesome deals if you take a look.
On that last one, I think i will try becoming one of those extreme couponers. LOL... Can't knock their hustle. Some of them are getting hundreds of dollars worth of food and paying little to nothing for it. I will probably have more paper cuts than I really need, especially since I am a massage therapist. I really don't want to use gloves if its not necessary and considering my luck with paper cuts (and I got the equivalent of a paper cut with a piece of plastic) I should probably rethink that plan!

With that being said, I am going to hang out and enjoy the rest of my evening with my little princess. But before I go, I must ask...
How do you save money when grocery shopping for healthy foods?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

December & Forming A Healthy Lifestyle

So...Last night I had a horrible time falling asleep...I tried but I tossed and turned. Something was on my mind. Too many negative thoughts. My self esteem and self image kinda sucks. But its a work in progress. So I know I have to give this 10000000%. I am taking the month of December to PUSH MYSELF. I WILL make a routine of working out and eating right. With no excuses. I WILL change my mindset and my lifestyle.

For far too long, I have looked in the mirror and been disgusted with who I saw looking back at me. I don't like the thoughts that float through my mind. I hate going out with my friends. A voice always runs its mouth in the back of my mind as I get dressed. 

"You look disgusting."

"I don't even know why you try to get dressed up and look cute." 

"That big saggy belly is NOT ATTRACTIVE and its not like you can hide it!"

"Everyone thinks your friends look good. But you are just the fat girl that tags along." 

"You might as well stay home. Nothing looks good on you." 

I usually end up crying at least once or twice.  I try to tune it out, but I fail every time.  My mind just won't allow it. And I am so so sick of this. Knowing what I have to do, I tell myself today is the day that I make this healthy lifestyle a habit. Today is the day that I stop making excuses. Unfortunately, I haven't made it a habit yet and that is because I am an impatient person. I want results and I want them now. Not the best way to be but hey, its me.
 I wish I could drop all the weight and get fit like yesterday. But I also know it takes time. It took time to go on, and it will take time to work off. But with the way that I have been living, it will never come off. I will do great for a few days or even a week. Then I fall off track and I get depressed. It repeats over and over again. Food is my main problem. I'll be real with you, whoever is reading this. I am gonna be completely honest. Maybe you are like me, in the same boat. I work full time, I have a two year old, and I am a single parent with no help whatsoever from my daughter's father. I just got my own place a month ago and still trying to figure out a budget and figure out life on my own. I get about $100 in food stamps. I am trying to figure out how to balance everything out from rent/utilities, phone, internet, child care, and hopefully soon I will have a car so then insurance and gas. I know everything will work itself out. But right now, my finances are a definite problem. The things that are best to eat, are more expensive than the processed junk that is super cheap. So what do you do? People say that you need to make an investment in yourself and in your health. And I completely agree. But what do you do when you LITERALLY don't have the money? I go to a couple food pantries in my area for some extra help, but its not like you can hand pick what you get there. I get what they give me and I definitely am not gonna complain. I just try to make the best choices I can and do what I can.

But during my tossing and turning last night, I made a decision. And I know its not gonna be easy. I will take the month of December to seriously focus on my health and fitness. A pre-challenge you could say. Apparently, it take 21 days to form a habit. I am gonna to take 31 days. 31 days to prep for my New Years Resolution. I will reach my fitness goals by my 23rd Birthday. (which is November 8th)  70 lbs. 31 days to change my mindset, my way of thinking and the way I see myself.

December will be the month I make to-do lists and schedule my day out to make the most of it.  I became a Beachbody Coach because I wanted to help others reach their goals and have the body they have always wanted. Reach the level of health they want. Live the life they want.  But how can I do it if I am not moving forward with it myself? 

2013 will be MY year. Nothing will hold me back this time. But I am (re)starting now... I want to be happy with myself, with my body and my life and I want my daughter to be proud of me too. I can not and will not let her down. 

It took everything in me to decide to post this picture. As you see, I am not smiling. I am very unhappy with this picture. Its not pretty but its me Only one way to fix that though. I have goofed off and wasted too much time. I could have been where I want to be by now. I started this journey back in March or April.  I know I can do this, but up until now, I've waited for the right conditions. "I have to have my own place so I can control the food coming in and I can workout without having to worry about a bunch of people interrupting or intruding."

Well the conditions (technically) are perfect. All of my previous excuses are not valid anymore. Not excuse will be valid. 


Turbo Jam-Learn and Burn & Turbo Sculpt

And I had a partner:)

Arianna did some Turbo Sculpting too! I love her!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

So... Let's Talk About Sports and Exercise Massage.

In case you didn't guess from the title of this blog, I am a Licensed Massage Therapist. I specialized in Sports and Exercise Massage. When I chose that specialization, to be honest, I was thinking about all the lovely buff athletes I could massage. *shrugs* I mean, that wasn't the only thing I was thinking about but it was definitely a benefit of it. But then I realized that I wanted to go more into the health and fitness aspect of it. I am on a fitness journey so with me adding exercise to my lifestyle, this would be perfect. So when I made this blog, along with fitness and nutrition tips and stuff about me and my Ari-Bug, I wanted to incorporate my Massage Therapy/Sports and Exercise Massage specialization. 

Sports and exercise masssage has physical and psychological benefits. Massage can prevent injuries and also help relieve pain and help heal injuries. It can relieve muscle soreness that is associated with athletic competition and exercise. Anxiety before or after an event can also be reduced! I mean massages are pretty freaking relaxing!

As far as injury prevention is concerned, massage can stretch your muscles along the fibers of your muscles and also cross-fiber, which releases tension. It can break down scar tissue as well. Scar tissue can cause inflexible tissues and then you are more likely to become injured. By lossening up these hypertonic or tight mucsles, you can increase blood flow to the area and then the blood with be better absorbed and used.

Ok, so think back to your last intense workout. You absolutely KILLED that workout! At first, you feel pretty good, but after a day or two, you can barely think about moving without being sore. This is Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness, or DOMS. During your killer workout, muscle tension built up in your soft tissues, along with small muscle tears and maybe some minor injuries. That's what is making you so sore. Well guess what, massage can reduce DOMS by about 30% by increasing circulation and blood flow to the areas affects. And if its possible for you to receive a massage after your workout or athletic event, you will reduce the overall effects of DOMS. WINNING!

Now for what everyone pretty much knows about massage. ITS VERY RELAXING AND SOOTHING. It releases endorphins that help relieve pain and soreness. Massage stimulates the mechanoreceptors that can sense touch, warmth and pressure. This results in even deeper relaxation and reduced anxiety. Now if you are about to participate in a sport, competition or exercise, the slow relaxing massage may not be the best way to go. You can pump yourself up and invigorate your muscles by receiving a pre-event massage, which is done with faster, shorter motions.

I've been privileged with the opportunity to do post-event massage at the Marine Corps Marathon 2011. I met many people from all over the country. For some, it was their first marathon. For some, it was one of many. One person had a tattoo of a four leaf clover, with 26.2 below it. 

The purpose of a massage after a major event is to aid the athlete to recover from the activity. This is achieved by reducing post-exercise soreness, re-establishing full range of motion and enhancing blood flow to tight muscles. 
The length of recovery time from strenuous competition can be dramatically reduced with a good post-event massage. Studies have found that correctly applied massage in the first two hours after activity can be critical for reducing the effect of delayed onset muscle soreness.

I have read a little about foam rollers and based on what I have heard from those that do use them, they are great. Especially if you don't have a massage therapist, or if it is just not gonna work with your schedule to make an appointment with one. Apparently pressure is placed on specific surfaces of the body. Use the roller to apply pressure to sensitive areas in muscles-which could be a knot, trigger point, or just an area of increased muscle density.  You are supposed to use the roller to search for these tender areas and to roll these areas to decrease density and over-activity of the muscle. You may find these places easily, and you may need to re-position the roller (parallel, perpendicular, or at a 45 degree angle. It just depends on the muscle. In time, you will master working out the knots with it, but it never hurts to just go ahead and book a massage. My hands can probably find and work knots and trigger points out  better than the foam roller. But the foam roller could definitely be used in between visits or before or after every massage.  Your choice.
Anyways, I need to get some house work and a work out done while my little one is asleep.

Do you receive massages regularly? Do you use a foam roller? What are your opinions of either or both? Someone please tell me more about this foam rolling! 

Have a great day!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Evil Tasty Pies!

So I am at work this morning, minding my own business, when my coworker tells me that she has tried some Holiday Custard Pie that McDonalds has now and has officially fallen in love and I must try it. I have been straying far far away from fast food so I didn't know much about this. The other lady that works with us had mentioned something about it before and the woman (who now loves it) was like "EWWWWWW I hate custard! That is DISGUSTING!!!" Anyways, apparently the woman's sister-in-law practically shoved it in her mouth last night and she thought it was amazing. So before I know it, my boss has gone to McDonalds (he goes there practically everyday for breakfast anyway) and has come back with a couple of the pies. She tells me she told him to get one for me to try.

Darn her and this evil delicious pie!!! Its like she knows my weaknesses! She must be a mind reader because anything sweet and/or with sprinkles, I AM IN THERE!!! I had been doing really good with staying away from all my favorite sugary sweet treats, especially considering how stressed out I have been recently. So I open up the box and this amazing aroma hits my nose, and I am immediately drooling! She got one for me to try so I couldn't tell her no, right? Am I right? 

Probably not. I could have said "No, thank you" but if anybody has even just smelled this thing, you might understand how I felt. And when I bit into it... There were angels singing and rainbows and fireworks, children laughing, world peace, and no hungry children or homeless people in the world. AIDS, cancers, and all other horrible diseases and ailments had cures. All in this moment! I was even doing a little happy dance. I mean it was that serious! I loved it. But since I don't ever go to McDonalds, I won't have any problems staying away from these miraculous little devils. Although it was so good, I also know its terrible as far as nutrition is concerned. So I had a treat this week. If she brings anymore to work with her, I will have to politely decline. It will be hard. VERY HARD! It will take every bit of will power and strength I have if it is right in front of me. But I will say no..... I think hahaha.

Tonight for dinner was: Garlic pepper chicken, wild rice, and carrots. And its Mini Me approved!

Is there a food/snack/treat that you can't seem to resist? And in situations like mine today, if someone buys it for you, how do you handle it?

Now, I am going to pop in some Turbo Jam and work this thing off! Nighty Night!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Single Mom AND Working Full Time? How Do You Make The Time To Work Out?

First things first.
I am a single mom
I can be unorganized.
I  tend to forget things... a lot.
I can be the queen of excuses and of procrastination.
I am NOT a morning person.

When I first started my lifestyle change (and I've started and restarted and restarted), I always came up with any and every reason why I couldn't or shouldn't work out.
 I need to go to bed early tonight. I'll just do it in the morning.
 *stays up late any way and when alarm buzzes at 4:45 am*
 I am too tired. I'll just hit snooze this one time then get up.
*snooze alarm goes off*
 I am still sleepy, I'll just do it tonight.
*changes time to 6:30 and goes back to sleep*

That is how it was everyday. Then I would be upset with myself for not just doing it.
I just felt like there were never enough hours in the day to exercise. But somehow others have the time, so I just told myself "You know what, I am a single parent that works full time as a Massage Therapist. I come home from work and picking up my little one from daycare, cook dinner for me and her, get Arianna fed, bathed and ready for bed, clean up the house, and do laundry if needed. By the time I have done all that, its 9pm or later. And I have to be at work by 8 am. And of course I have to socialize with my sister and her family since that is where me and my daughter are staying for now AND I must catch up on some of my favorite TV shows. Where does that leave ANY time for me to workout?"
Then every single time I looked in the mirror, try to get dressed, or even worse try to have a girl's night out, I didn't like what I was seeing, I didn't like the way my clothes fit. I didn't like that my girl friends look way better than I did. It was like they were oozing all this confidence, even if they really weren't. And me... just a fat girl that always TRIED to look cute but actually looked really gross and fat. They would get all this attention from guys (even if they didn't the attention) and I would just kinda hang out on the sidelines and not really talk to anyone but them. And if the rare occasion arose where someone did talk to me, the subject of my occupation came up then I got the wrong kind of attention since a lot of people connect massage therapist to a masseuse and happy endings... NOPE! I DEFINITELY DON'T DO THAT!
I know you might be thinking that I was really harsh on myself. But this is exactly how I felt and sometimes still feel but wait....

A lot has changed in me. I realize that there are more than enough hours in the day to work out. I realized that I can't have such negative self talk. I have to love my body and myself. That's why I want this change. For my health, self-confidence, self esteem and for my little girl. The thing is AM I WILLING TO MAKE THE TIME? and AM I REALLY THAT TIRED?

Now, I LOVE to workout early in the morning... before I think too much into it and give myself a chance to come up with an excuse. No one else is up at that ungodly time of morning (lol) so I have no interruptions. Downside: I don't get to pump up the music but oh well, there's an iPod for that:)

. I have WAYYYYYYY more energy than I ever thought I would. Somehow just by getting up, pushing play and having Chalene pushing me through my workout just pumps me up. By the time I am done, I have plenty of energy, I am always in a good mood afterward and plus I feel SOOO FREAKIN GOOD that I actually did it and not letting any stupid excuses come between me and my health and fitness goals. I can go on about my busy day without feeling guilty. Its AH-MAZ-ING!! But I understand that not everyone's hours are like mine. (I actually love my schedule, I just wish my workday started a little later or we finished up earlier) So scheduling your workout in the morning may not be whats best for you. Maybe an evening or night time workout is what will be best for you. Maybe around lunch time you have enough time. You have to figure out what works best with your life. Its helps to organize your day and find little shortcuts here and there to maximize your time and your life.

Now I am at the beginning of this journey but I am learning to love myself and my body more and more everyday. The more I feed her with the nutrients she needs, the better she feels and the better she will look. The more I push myself through my workouts, the better she will feel and the better she will look. Its a process. I know I will not see results overnight, but I am constantly progressing. Soon enough, everyone will be able to see all the work I am putting in paying off. And that day... will be the thing that pushes me and motivates me even more to keep going.

Monday, August 27, 2012

About Me

Hello There!!! My name is J'Wana and I am a single parent to an amazing little girl named Arianna, as well as a full-time Massage Therapist. Here is a little about myself.

My childhood was a lot different than most people. I am from Washington, DC. but I moved around A LOT!!. D.C., Maryland, Northern VA, Southern VA, Texas... I was all over the place. And no, I wasn't a military brat. Just had a tough life.  For as long as I can remember, I have been the chubby girl. I was always told it was baby fat and that it would go away once I got older. I remember during 7th and 8th grade, I was in pretty good shape. ( I was also walking and riding my bike to school and back which was 3 miles round-trip) But when 9th grade hit, that's when things really started to change. I was living in Southwest Virginia, small southern town of Marion, Va. Some of the food was different but OH SO GOOD!!! I didn't realize how the food and less activity would change my body, I really wasn't too concerned with it to be honest with you. I was a cheerleader in 10th grade and over the summer when we got our uniforms and had to try them on.... well I had the biggest size they had and it just barely fit me. But I also knew I had a big booty, even when I was smaller everywhere else. Nothing I was ashamed of but I still hated (not really hated but you get my point) all the skinny girls that didn't have any problem with their uniforms. But I figured that by the time we were done cheer leading for the year, I would have lost all the weight. WRONG! I had to get a job. My first job- WENDYS. As much as I loved (and still love) food, the last thing I thought about then was my health or fitness. So I worked hard and ate good and gained weight. As a matter of fact, all of my jobs while in high school were in the fast food industry, so its what I ate most of the time. I didn't realize what an impact this was making in my mind and body.

Jump ahead to after I graduated (2008-2009), I moved in with my two of my friends. We all worked at McDonalds. I don't need to explain further. Then I find out I am pregnant...

I had a cute little bump for a while. I was eating for me and baby. And while I ate plenty of healthy foods, ice cream and Chinese food were constants in my life. Next thing I know..

And I still had a good 6 weeks to go when this picture was taken. But where I wasn't gaining much weight everywhere else, I figured things would more or less snap back into place once I had my precious baby girl.

I breastfed and a lot of the weight came off. But her father went to jail when she was 13 days old. So I was a 19 year old new and single parent and then Postpartum Depression hit. Food was what made me feel better so I ate and ate and ate to ease the pain away. I ate until he got out of jail, then I ate more. The man I waited for, visited every weekend so he could watch his little girl grow even though it was only 15 min visits, he turned on me. He began sneaking around, stealing, and treating me like a dog. I got called every name in the book. So I ate more. When I finally worked up the courage to leave, he took my daughter and blockaded himself in the basement. I tried to get the door open and he said "You better stop before your FAT ASS breaks this door"....That broke me down to nothing. After a couple days of arguing, I finally got me and Arianna out of that house and away from him. But mentally and emotionally, every name he called me still stuck. He wasn't done with me yet and I wasn't done with my emotional eating. I was stressed out to the max trying to figure out what to do next. One day, I stepped on the scale and had to blink multiple time to make sure I was actually seeing the numbers I saw: 200lbs!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! HOW?!! WHY?!!! 
My inner "Debbie Downer" was saying he was right, you are a fat ass and you have no importance in this world.

But I did mean something to someone, if no one else----ARIANNA!

So we moved to Washington DC and I enrolled at the National Massage Therapy Institute in Falls Church, VA. l! It was amazing but I still had to work so I got a job with my mom at IHOP.... Uh-Oh! The smells of pancakes, bacon, ham, potatoes. Who could resist? I sure couldn't and didn't. Work during the weekdays, school on weeknights, and then work during the overnight shift on the weekends. Those overnight shift were the worst. Whenever we were slow, I got one of the cooks to make me some NY cheesecake pancakes or some hashbrowns with cheese or some other ridiculously fattening thing that I wanted that night. Not good at all. And it all caught up to me!

Arianna and I both had check-ups with our doctor. They did a full physical on me since it had been a while since I had one. Blood work and all. About a week later, I get a letter from the doctors office, they wanted me to have a follow up appointment because my blood test came back abnormal. In bold letters I read PRE-DIABETIC.  What!! Diabetes runs in my family but ME, 20 years old... oh no not me I don't want diabetes. Something has to be done!...right?

But the truth is, I didn't know what to do and I was terrified. I knew what I needed to do and where I wanted to be but how do I get there?

I started getting stressed out again. Then one night I was up late, couldn't sleep and I was flipping through channels and I came across a Brazil Butt Lift commercial through Beachbody... those girls looked amazing. It looked like fun and thus something I would actually do so I ordered it. I thought "This is it, I am finally gonna get back in shape and be beautiful like the girls on the commercial"....

I have never been one with a great self-esteem. So when I got my BBL in the mail, I was so happy. I wanted to change the way I ate, change my life. I tore open the box and popped it in the DVD player. I didn't realized how tough it would actually be for me. But Leandro's energy and quite frankly, his accent (which I love haha) kept me going and boy was I sore!

I told my mom that with my pre-diabetic status, I needed her to buy better and healthier food. She made the joke that just because I have to eat healthy, she didn't have to, which actually hurt my feelings. It would be good for her, me and Arianna. She would buy me salad, and then everything else she always bought so not much changed except for a bag of salad mix. I remember one day I went and bought a juicer and took it upon myself to do some grocery shopping. I got ground chicken and turkey instead of pork and beef. I got loads of veggies and fruit, granola, greek yogurt. I mean I think I did good. As she watched me put the food away, she commented "I hope you plan on eating all that because it sure doesn't look appetizing". I went to cook dinner (which may or may not have been spaghetti) with the ground chicken and she looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said. " You're gonna use that?!"... How could I eat right if every time I make a good decision, she had a comment that made me want to just say screw it? The only thing that kept me from giving up completely were the people on the Team Beachbody website. One thing I wanted out of the website was a friend and coach that had been in the same boat as me as far as the amount of weight that I needed to lose and the struggles I've had. One of my buddies Janet told me she had an amazing coach named Rachel that had went from 301 to around 130 IN A YEAR!! She sent me a link to Rachel's profile. I sent her a buddy request and we started to talk. We have some much in common and her wise and caring words stuck with me. I needed her as my coach. And I made her my coach. This was the beginning... Little did I know, unexpected depression and excuses were heading my way.

D.C. wasn't what I expected, I wasn't happy there. I really started to miss Marion, VA. Yeah, it's a small town with not a lot to do, but it is a good place to raise kids, not too much crime, and its the place I lived the longest that I can remember of my whole life. I wanted to go back. I ended up stopping BBL and ordered Turbo Jam. When I got it, once again I tore open the box and put it in the DVD player. In comes Chalene, smiley, blond, perky Chalene. I didn't know what to expect from this woman but I ended up loving her. She is so motivational during her workouts, reminding you that all the motivation, all the energy is in your head. You can keep going! You can push harder! I enjoyed TJ a lot, but still ended up giving up on that as well, but Rachel continued to check in on me even after my posts to the challenge group and TBB website had stopped. I feel like anyone else would have just given upon me, figured I was just a waste of time. But she didn't and I am forever thankful for that. Through my talks with Rachel, I realized that I couldn't keep giving excuses for me not taking the step forward, pushing play and eating right. This is in my hands. My body, my health, my life is in my hands. I want to be around for my beautiful little girl for a very long time, but if I don't take care of myself now, that won't happen. I also realized that I wanted to become a Team Beachbody coach. If I could do for someone else what Rachel did for me, it would make me feel so good. I want to help people with their health & fitness. As a Massage Therapist, I am love to help people with their pain and make them just feel better in general and I am supposed to tell my clients know how important it is for them to exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water. I want to be a model of that, not the one saying "Do as I say, not as I do." SO I MADE A DECISION...

Despite what anybody else may have wanted me to do, I moved back to Marion, I am working as a Massage Therapist, just became a Team Beachbody coach and restarting my Turbo Jam & Brazil Butt Lift. I will eat right, exercise at least 5 days a week and drink plenty of water.

No. I don't have the results that everyone wants to see. I am at the beginning of my journey as many people are. I now have all of Beachbody watching and waiting. Watching, Waiting and thus Motivating me to transform my body and mind into the person, the mother, the role-model for my daughter that I want to be.

My goal as a coach is to change another's life while molding, changing and sculpting my own. If I can just reach one person, then that's great! But if I can reach many.... WOW! That would be a blessing!

Watch me during my journey or join me with a journey of your own. 

Just don't give up, don't let anyone hold you back or tear you down. Know that this life is yours. This body is yours. If you are unhappy with any of it, change it.