Wednesday, February 27, 2013
So this is not fitness related at all...well I guess it could be. I was stressed out and worked out at the same time! But I have to get this out about my little pride and joy.
She had an appointment monday afternoon at 1:15pm. On any other day, she is at pre-school getting ready for her nap. This isn't the first appointment she has had during her regular naptime, so I already knew that Bug would not be a happy little lady. But I had no clue what she had in store for me. NO CLUE AT ALL!!!!
When I picked her up, she was in a fairly good mood considering. We get to the office and I am filling out paperwork, when she decides that she wants to write too. I told her to hold on a second and that I would get her something to write on. That didn't work for her. A lady behind me hands her a piece of paper and a pen so that she can write. Well she didn't want that either. She wanted to write on the pink sheet of paper that I was writing on because it is her favorite color (and those were her words lol). At that point, she starts this crying and screaming and drooling everywhere. I don't know what is up with the drooling, its like her thing now. Her nose started running and that made her more upset so we went to the bathroom to clean up her nose. She blows it, washes her hands and comes out of the bathroom a brand new child. She goes and plays with the blocks and a little doll until she gets called back. She cooperates very well with myself and the nurse as I undress her for her to get weighed and measured. But as soon as the nurse said that it was time to get dressed again, something flipped in this child's brain. I managed to get her pants and sock on without an excess of struggle but her shoes were a different story. She started SCREAMING like I was killing her or something, crying and doing the whole drooling thing (and for some reason that drives me crazy!). Everytime I would get one shoe on, she would kick it off with the other foot. I would sit her up in the chair and she would throw herself back down to the floor. I would get down on the floor to get them on her and she rolled around so that I couldn't grab her feet. All while screaming non-stop. She was swinging and smacking at my arms. Just flipping out! The nurse looked shocked at how Ari-Bug was acting...no she didnt just look shocked, she genuinely was shocked and really so was I. She has never acted like that before. At home or in public. I mean she has had her moments but NEVER THAT BAD! I knew she was just sleepy so I tried not to get too upset with her but I could only take so much of it. I managed to get one shoe on her and said F it with the other shoe. I was done trying. Then out of nowhere, Bug says " I want to go to the lady!" and walks over to her and gets on her lap and lays her head on her chest. At this point, I think she was too tired to keep it going much longer. When we were all done, I carried her out to the car, still with only one shoe on, and take her back to school. I was so wore out by the time I got back to work, I'm not really sure how I managed to get through the massages I had booked for the rest of the day.
I've been told that 3 year olds are even worse than the whole TERRIBLE TWO stage, but her 3rd birthday is only a couple months away. I don't know if I am getting the late terrible two tantums or a preview of whats to come from my soon-to-be three year old.
How can my usually oh-so-sweet and precious little girl turn into THAT!! LOL All I can say is keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I'm going to need some serious strength and way more patience that I have to deal with that. I'm going to have a head full of gray hairs by my 23rd birthday in November!!!!
If you have a toddler, (or an older child- either way you've been here before) WHAT IN THE WORLD do you do when your child is having a tantrum like that?
She has had tantrums in the grocery store as well and I honestly just kinda ignore her there. I can only ignore so much though, especially when she decides she is just gonna walk or run away from me.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Geez. I feel like most of my posts have been about me falling off track and how I plan to get back on. Every time the problem is stress. It goes away and then it comes back 10 times worse. This time was different. I almost lost my job over something that wasn't really in my control. It was from me having to depend on someone else and then pretty much getting screwed over.. That started a big argument and things became...ugh... just crazy intense. It almost pushed me to my breaking point. But just when I got to my darkest place, things suddenly took a turn. Things have started to turn. That has caused me to look back on how far I have come. I don't mean as far as my weight loss because that has been a roller-coaster. I mean as far as everything else in my life. I have so much to be thankful for and with that I have so many positive things I need to think of, rather than all the negative that surrounds me.
I definitely have a problem with that though. All the negative seems to greatly overpower all the great things in my life. I don't want it to be like that anymore. With so much in my life that is good, why would I let all this stupid negativity get me down, break my spirit, and constantly keep me depressed.
The only thing holding me back is me. I know that I am far from perfect and all these problems in my life will make me appreciate this journey and everything in my life. It still does get aggravating when I keep starting over. I think I will start keeping a journal. Maybe then when these problems and stressful situations do arise, I can get them out and down on paper, out of my mind, and hopefully that will help me handle everything a little better, just a thought.
I never want to go back to the negative place I've been in over the past couple weeks and I will do everything in my power to prevent that. Working out can be such a good way to relieve stress. You would think I would be doing it all the time. But I've gotten so depressed, I've barely done anything. I would have my daughter taken to daycare, go to work, have her picked up and then myself picked up and go home. When I got home, I wouldn't do too much then either. Make Bug something to eat. Depending on how I felt, I maybe ate something, watched TV and went to bed. It was almost like I didn't care anymore. But everyday I looked in the mirror I didn't like what I saw. I still don't. I know what I need to do to change that picture, but somehow that didn't make it any easier. It didn't make it any easier even though I know I just had to do it. Just do it. And at the time, I guess I really didn't want to do it.
And I'm sick of all the reasons why I don't want to or don't feel like starting and following through with my healthy lifestyle change. Have you ever been SO COMPLETELY SICK AND TIRED of how things have been that no matter what you are gonna do what you have to do to make a change? I think I am finally there. If I'm not, I need to be. No one can make these changes but me. So that's what I am going to do.
When things get tough, I will adjust so that things can still work for me. I am sure there are people out there with worse situations than what I have been in and still manage to reach their goals and make things happen to better their life. So why can't I?
Thats the thing. I find myself using "can't" wayyyyyy too much. I have to turn my CAN'T's in to CAN's and my DREAMS into PLANS!
That is the only way I am going to succeed in ANYTHING!
And I am so ready. I deserve to be happy, healthy, successful and full of life!
I deserve to reach my goals and make things happen in my life!