Geez. I feel like most of my posts have been about me falling off track and how I plan to get back on. Every time the problem is stress. It goes away and then it comes back 10 times worse. This time was different. I almost lost my job over something that wasn't really in my control. It was from me having to depend on someone else and then pretty much getting screwed over.. That started a big argument and things became...ugh... just crazy intense. It almost pushed me to my breaking point. But just when I got to my darkest place, things suddenly took a turn. Things have started to turn. That has caused me to look back on how far I have come. I don't mean as far as my weight loss because that has been a roller-coaster. I mean as far as everything else in my life. I have so much to be thankful for and with that I have so many positive things I need to think of, rather than all the negative that surrounds me.
I definitely have a problem with that though. All the negative seems to greatly overpower all the great things in my life. I don't want it to be like that anymore. With so much in my life that is good, why would I let all this stupid negativity get me down, break my spirit, and constantly keep me depressed.
The only thing holding me back is me. I know that I am far from perfect and all these problems in my life will make me appreciate this journey and everything in my life. It still does get aggravating when I keep starting over. I think I will start keeping a journal. Maybe then when these problems and stressful situations do arise, I can get them out and down on paper, out of my mind, and hopefully that will help me handle everything a little better, just a thought.
I never want to go back to the negative place I've been in over the past couple weeks and I will do everything in my power to prevent that. Working out can be such a good way to relieve stress. You would think I would be doing it all the time. But I've gotten so depressed, I've barely done anything. I would have my daughter taken to daycare, go to work, have her picked up and then myself picked up and go home. When I got home, I wouldn't do too much then either. Make Bug something to eat. Depending on how I felt, I maybe ate something, watched TV and went to bed. It was almost like I didn't care anymore. But everyday I looked in the mirror I didn't like what I saw. I still don't. I know what I need to do to change that picture, but somehow that didn't make it any easier. It didn't make it any easier even though I know I just had to do it. Just do it. And at the time, I guess I really didn't want to do it.
And I'm sick of all the reasons why I don't want to or don't feel like starting and following through with my healthy lifestyle change. Have you ever been SO COMPLETELY SICK AND TIRED of how things have been that no matter what you are gonna do what you have to do to make a change? I think I am finally there. If I'm not, I need to be. No one can make these changes but me. So that's what I am going to do.
When things get tough, I will adjust so that things can still work for me. I am sure there are people out there with worse situations than what I have been in and still manage to reach their goals and make things happen to better their life. So why can't I?
Thats the thing. I find myself using "can't" wayyyyyy too much. I have to turn my CAN'T's in to CAN's and my DREAMS into PLANS!
That is the only way I am going to succeed in ANYTHING!
And I am so ready. I deserve to be happy, healthy, successful and full of life!
I deserve to reach my goals and make things happen in my life!
I think journaling is a really good idea. Stress is never going to be eliminated from life, but finding different ways to take care of yourself while you're dealing with it is important. this isn't something that you deal with a few times and then it just goes away either! The more you find healthy ways to cope and the more times you get yourself back on the horse, the stronger you get!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome!! Don't let anything keep you down! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've definitely had a lot to deal with, but you're pushing through - so good job! I really like the quote - for me it has always been about making a plan - if there is no plan (and I mean written down on my calendar, in my phone, etc.), then I am much more likely to blow off working out. No plan was the fastest way for me to fall into a rut...with a plan, I know which days the kids have swim lessons, there's a play date, or I have evening obligations, etc. - and I make the plan to fit everything else that has to get done. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteThe word "can't" isn't allowed at my house! Turning the "can't" into "can" is awesome! Keep it up!
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